Mine always had a short temper. It just got worse over the years.
The last year prior to bomb felt like nothing and no-one was good enough for him but we (me and the kids) were. Eventho, i started feeling like we were a heavy weight on his shoulder. Anger was starting to come out ON US. He was aware that something was defenatly wrong WITH HIM but didn't know what. Like yours, he would blow (monster) and 2 minutes later, ask for forgiveness and cry. High and Lows in matter of minutes. In June 2009, he couldn't take it anymore. I felt like his leaving was his way to protect us from him. Back then, HE WAS AWARE of the pain he caused all of us but had no control over his emotions. In a phone conversation we had, he said that he FELT HE WASN'T GOOD TO ANYONE LIKE THIS! That we deserved much better. He was ashamed of himself and didn't know what else to do. Replay started. Alcohol, OW, spending... Today, he will tell you that he is not sick. There's nothing wrong with him. He lost alot of weight and tells everybody that he exercises. He thinks that he is fouling everyone but he in not fouling me nor the kids nor my family. We know him way to much to fall for it. We have nothing but compassion for what he is going through. Depression is still very present and i'm always there for him through that phase but i do not make myself available to his anger phase anymore because i'm the one that falls down. My self-esteem gets to fragile and i need it to stay strong and help my kids to get through this.
