For anyone out there......how the heck does one "piece" with a distancer? Deluca's book does an excellent job with specificity for how to stop pursuing , why it doesn't work, etc, but he kind of stops at that, what happens if I stop pursuing, H comes inching back toward me, (which according to Deluca he will do if there is still some level of care for me, and he won't if there never was any care or if it is gone)
Although I love the SOLO PARTNER book, let me emphasize that it is a relationship book. Not an MLC book.
While he is in MLC you are not in a relationship. Your relationship is DEAD during this time. Before it starts or after it finishes is a different story.
So the things this book says, while I totally agree with them, will not create the results that you are EXPECTING, until after the crisis is over.
This is why 25 is giving you the advice for a course correction.
The most confusion from an MLC'er is at the beginning and end of the tunnel. When they can still see some of the light. That is when this book will have the most chance of working. When they are deep in the tunnel with no light surrounding them it is more likely to look like that they don't care.
That is not something that you really know for sure. You can only trust in the MLC process. MLC takes TIME.
