Wife no longer in love with me - Part 3

[cam]

I guess if the chances of R in these sitchs is rare, then sometimes i question why I'm here, why are we all here??

What odds do you need to make it worth it to you? What IS your M worth to you?

If it was 50% do you still stand? At 40%? How about only 1%?

I never want to give up, I know know my chance of saving this is lower than low....I guess the only thing I felt I had in my favor was that there was no one else involved. I dont about that know....I have no idea what she's been up to. She's not the sort of girl who would ever pick up random guys, but she does get hit on a lot. Who knows...kills me to think about it.
1% is worth it to me.....my M means everything to me, I just didn't communicate it enough to my W.

[cam]

Ok... now... almost 10 months later... I am not divorced... hell, paperwork hasn't even been filed.

AND... my W is considering reconciliation.

There is always hope my friend

BITS
Denver

Loved hearing that. So how the hell did have you gotten your W to consider reconciling? Obviously all sitchs are different, but always good to hear that and gain some inspiration.

[Drew]

Cam,

So how the hell did have you gotten your W to consider reconciling?

Right here is THE key point you're missing:

You can't MAKE another individual do anything.

The sooner you learn that and more importantly act like that - the sooner the chance that your situation MAY change.

[cam]

Thanks Drew....you're right.
Just sad....it's Friday night and I'm sitting here reading DB forum and wondering how the F has my life ended up like this......when I had it all.
Trying to Gal, but it's hard when all my friends are married and spend their time with their wives. Went out to dinner last night with a friend and his fiancé, I think my friends are getting tired of having to look after me.
Off to new Zealand tomorrow for work for the week, so change of scenery and good opportunity to take my mind off things.
Takes so much restraint not to call my W when I miss her so much when it comes to the weekend.

[Drew]

Look at this as an opportunity. There has to be something that you used to do before you were married that you enjoyed and don't do anymore.

Do that!!

[cam]

Thanks Drew. Honestly my W used to let me do anything I wanted, to a certain extent. I had it so good and I didn't even know it.
The only thing I wanted to go was go surfing in the maldives, which I am doing in a month. But she would have let me do that and have come too.
I really f'd up.

[cam]

I'm considering calling my W today, I just miss her voice and want to talk to her. I know it won't do any good, but I just feel so useless sitting here doing nothing and waiting for something to happen.
I want to know what she's up to, what she's been doing - I miss my best friend so much.

[cam]

Ok, not going to do this.....it would just be more of the same and wouldnt achieve anything.
I just find it so hard on weekends wondering what she is doing, where she is. We would spend the whole weekend together. It's been 4.5 mths since she said she wanted out. Throughout that time, I have not seen one indication that she may be reconsidering her decision.
She is confident, planned and it all seems so well thought out.
Just feeling really down and really devastated at the moment and struggling to accept that this is over and I will never hold or touch her again.
God, I f'd up my life and what I had.

[cam]

Ok meltdown averted, about to get on a plane where I plan to read the DR book which finally arrived. Straight to the LRT section!

[Denver_2010]

Ok meltdown averted, about to get on a plane where I plan to read the DR book which finally arrived. Straight to the LRT section!

Good cam. Stick to your plan. As for my sitch, I only brought it up to say to you that you never know what is going to happen. I started by doing just what you are doing. Going fairly dark and giving her space. My sitch is no where close to be a success story... but I still have hope 9 months later. Where I have messed up, is by doing things like you ALMOST did tonight. we have to have will power when we are feeling that way. Stay the course.

BITS
Denver