Can my blah blah blah pt 2?

[a girl]

Having a low key night .. hoping to have a relaxing weekend.

Not really sure where I'm at as far as feelings about H - I'd like to be able to be friendly, but as long as he's "with" OW, it's just not an option for me.

Anyway. Gonna watch some Netflix on demand and eat onion rings.

[a girl]

Got decent sleep last night and woke up without a migraine - first time in 5 weeks!

My head is a little tender, but no migraine. Woot!

Going to pack up a bunch of H's books today and put them on the porch for him to take - I don't want him to come into the house even far enough to grab boxes, and that way after he drops S7 off this afternoon I can just shut the door and not have to have him coming in and out grabbing boxes.

Feeling a little down, but more because I realise how much damage he and OW have done to their spouses and children. Keep reminding myself that my job is to take care of S7 and I, and I'm good at it.

[a girl]

Could really use some sort of feedback today. I know trying to understand what H is doing is futile, but even knowing that I'm not crazy for thinking the constant emails are weird might be helpful.

Anyway. Hopefully the refi will be done by the end of the month and there will be one reason for him to contact me gone.

My goal is to start the new year with the separation agreement in place, all his stuff out of my house, and a solid visitation schedule for S7 that meets S7 needs.

[a girl]

The dropoff went ok - didn't speak to him. He saw his boxes on the porch when he walked up, and as he was loading them, I realised he forgot to send S7's school uniform back with him, but I have enough pants/shirts that I just asked S7 to please remember to pick it up on Monday - wasn't interested in going to talk to him about it.

Really don't like seeing him every other day - hoping by the end of October we have the schedule such that I only see him for a Saturday exchange, and the rest are pickups/drop offs at school.

[a girl]

Had an ok night last night - hung out with S7 for a while, then read with him at bedtime. After he was asleep, I spent time talking with T, who is really good at helping to put stuff into perspective.

He's very adamant that I deserve much better than H gave me, both in regards to the affair/deceit, and before that.

Got some decent sleep, and woke up to S7 giving me hugs and asking, "Do you like my morning hugs? I just love you so much!" And how can that not be the best way to start the day?

Made him my "special" eggs (uhm, scrambled eggs with cheese) and then we watched some cartoons. Going to play some Battleship in a little while, and then maybe hit up Trader Joe's. Hopefully just a relaxing day.

[a girl]

Unexpected phone call from H - wanted to talk about S7 visitation. My request that he set up time for a phone call with me was met with resistence - "At the rate [I] reply to email, that seems difficult", he said.

He's very adamant that he wants to move to 3 days/4 days, and I just don't think that's right for S7. I'd rather a schedule closer to that of a couple of my friends, where it's an every other night sort of thing. It's really just an augmentation of the current schedule, and it allows S7 to see each every day, even if it's just a short while in the morning.

In talking with S7, he doesn't want to go 3 days without seeing me, or 4 days without seeing H, and I don't think he should have to.

Obviously this puts a crimp in H's travel to visit OW, so he's not a fan, but I'm not going to make decisions about S7 with that in mind - I'm not trying to make things hard on H, but I'm not going to sacrifice S7 to make things easy on him.

Talking to H still leaves me anxious and shaking, but I'm the best advocate S7 has, and I need to keep that in mind.

[~¤DG¤~]

As long as you are making decisions with what is best for S7 that is all that matters.

[a girl]

DG - Thanks. I know, but it's hard because he's going to fight anything that makes his affair harder, and claim it's what's best for S7. I just don't want this to become a nightmare.

[a girl]

Had a busy day at a leadership offsite. One of the topics? Dealing with change - specifically changes that were not desired and not wanted.

How timely.

The answer? "It takes time to get through it."

But! I want a silver bullet, please.

[In_Shock]

if you find a silver bullet or anything to hasten the end of pain --- please forward to us!!