Regretful and not sure how to proceed

[25yearsmlc]

mary,

first, thank GOD you have that c! (Thank you, Universe.)

doesn't mean you might not have to switch later on---like for more mystery b/c she may well share info with w, but what the heck, savor the moment.

Clearly w is not as sharing about her LOVE and her HAPPINESS with all....and as for OW, pfffff...as my teenagers say, "whatevs"...

The workshop is in Philly and it's called Essential Experience ("EE"). Check out their website.

I have done a lot of other workshops and here's the difference.

1) it's designed for fundamentally "well" people who are cognitively aware of themselves. IDK how else to say that. There will be a lot of educated people there, but enough blue collar to keep it down to earth. I learned about the universal condition of man, in that I bonded the most with the telephone operator whose heart had been broken. In my "real life' I would have made stupid presumptions about her, so my educational snobbism vanished fast.

2) if you trust the process and stop all the resisting, you will be profoundly moved and changed. You will make an action plan to change your life based on your discoveries there.

3) there's no pressure to recruit for money after you go, (thank GOD). Oh Sure, People are enthusiastic (I wanted everyone I knew to go. I told my senior rater in the US Army-a Colonel, to go!)

Support groups continue on & are free (and supportive!) I think there are 1-2 graduate workshops but there's not a continuing emphasis on more classes/seminars and more money...which i've felt at Landmark.


4) EE so affected me that when I flew home, my MD h, literally saw a difference in me at the airport. He later said "you definitely looked different. You were so calm and just looked radiant"...(not bad!)


After a few days at home he said, "I think I'd like to do it too." (UNPRECEDENTED!!)

so HE goes a few months later and I'm waiting for him to call me and tell me how much he loves it and how great it is, etc...but no call comes...

By Sat Nite I'm freaking out b/c he hasn't called me and I'm thinking, wth? Am I his "issue"? Am I holding him back? Is he discovering that secretly our m is the mistake of his life?

he calls me late that night and says "Thank you for the best gift I've ever gotten."

Later on, we went together, as members of the "team" and bonded even more.
I highly recommend going first, alone.

Don't go with someone you know well if you have any issues with them b/c you want to be as candid as possible w/o worrying about their feelings. Make sense?

Also it costs about $800 or something like that. To me that is cheap b/c it's more than 50 hours of therapy and it's so much more efficient!

How? B/C in T, I hated making breakthroughs with my t and then having to go back to work or pick up my kids, etc....plus it's hard to make a breakthrough with just talk and only for 50 min at a time.

Taking 3-4 days of your life to go and stop at the Scenic overlook --ASSESS YOUR LIFE & DIRECTION OF IT-- is worth it.

Best money I ever spent. And we were broke at the time we went. I was pregnant with our 2nd child too.

*I was doing criminal defense at the time and my job sucked out my will to live. Very ugly stuff, which EE also helped me with.

Without EE and the tools I got there, I don't know if we'd have

1) been as happily m as we were for a good 15 years, and I mean happy- as in the expressed envy of other couples;

or

2) had our 3rd child; OR

3) made the career move I made...

So when the MLC came up, I had good memories of our m before so I knew we had something special between us...but I knew I needed some tools specifically for a long m and an MLCer...which I got here, mostly. And which aligned a lot.

Really h was being selfish. Can't say it another way.

But Dealing with betrayal was something EE did kind of prepare me for in that we are taught not to go to dry wells for a drink when we are thirsty...you know?
Just stop it.

Some people go back to their alcoholic parent time and time again, only to be disappointed. It's a pattern in their life...they can BS around it but it is what it is.

EE is experiential w/a few talks tossed in to explain some new concepts. So you don't get a lot of time to "rehearse" your answers and BS some therapist.

It's raw that way. And I learned a lot about myself I didn't think was true...and yet...

You will discover things about YOU that IMO, can best be discovered in a safe supportive environment like that. (Safe meaning you won't be judged.)

And that is why I highly suggest it for you, and at this time.

"You fit the profile"...

In sum, I thought it was the single most profound experience of my life, short of giving birth.

And no, I don't get a kickback for saying that. But if you go, let me know so I can make a call or two.