Regretful and not sure how to proceed

[In_Shock]

Sorry I hadn't posted. 25, I'm so flattered that you thought of me.

Last night I was just too worn out to form a coherent sentence. I was watching W text OW and I just checked out and went to sleep. Today I was working and trying to GAL, at least getting out of the house! I have a writing deadline, and I've been trying to concentrate on that and not on my sitch. Not totally successful, but not a terrible teary day either.

Ok, first the IC session was interesting. Since C sees me, W and OW, I was very alert to body language, etc... What actually happened was C is a supporter of DBing--- of course she doesn't want me (anyone) to put all their eggs in one basket, etc.... but of course, as we all know DBing is for US more than anything.

So C said a few things - not sure ethically how much she SHOULD say/have said, but anyway, when I told her I know that W and OW are having a R, she looked genuinely shocked- she actually said "I would be really surprised if they were in a relationship" Hmmmm. Well, I guess W and OW haven't been in to see C lately, because they certainly are not 'friends'.

C also told me that W had checked out emotionally a long time ago from our R (which i knew, and actually was the one who brought that up) and that W is 'done' with our R. When we discussed DBing, C added that W is 'done' with the R for now. That NOW is not the time to try to get back together, etc.... ALL stuff I/we here already know. Work on myself...

She also said that she believes W will always have feelings for me and that statistically many couples who have children and have spent more than a decade together usually end up at least giving it one more try. (if I get one more try, I will know what I can do on my part to make the R better 2nd time).

C believes I tried too hard to please W and lost myself to some extent. C said, "You were always trying to change into whatever W wanted you to be. Who are YOU?" Good question.

C also said that W has been very unhappy inside - and that W has a lot of growing she needs to do on her own. She says W has so much unhappiness inside that has nothing to do with me. She says W may sitting where she is feeling unhappy and thinking... well--- if I run away and do something COMPLETELY diffrent, maybe I will be happy. C basically said that W has some things to work on and growth.... (which may be why C would be surprised that W and OW are hitting the proverbial sheets now)

So tonight S is with grandmother. I am out GAL = which for me is right now sitting a a coffee shop writing. But W doesn't know where I am, and it's peaceful here.

What do u think 25? As always, I wait for your wisdom

(oh and S, me and my mom are going out of town tomorrow to visit family. Very different for me-- So I will be back here on Sunday)