Can a marriage survive two affairs?

[MrBond]

Nobody ever said you had a crap H. The thing is that we are telling you the steps that need to be done, but you don't want to listen. Everyone here is pro-marriage. We wouldn't be here if we weren't all fighting for M.

You came here for advice. You have to understand that the advice here may not be what you want to hear, but it is what you NEED to hear. We aren't counselors. However, we all have gone through what you have and there's nothing more valuable than experience.

All of us have been left behind by our spouses. You are not any more special than the other posters.

You need to see that you can do all the work you want, BUT if he doesn't start doing things to help with your needs and insecurities it will happen again. It may not be counseling, but him pining over the loss of the OW isn't seeing to your needs.

Again, listen carefully, you can do all the work, but he was the one who initially went after another person. If he does not find out why that happened and deal with this, chances are likely that they will happen again. You will find that once a WAS has made the decision to leave once, they will find it easier to do it again in the future. That's why 2nd M's fail so much.

If you don't believe me, go back and read the posts of the people who have successfully reconciled. In every case, the WAS starts to show concern for the well being of the LBS.

Again, this may not be what you "want" to hear, but it's what you NEED to hear.