I had several long, slow, depressing days. They were not fun. But this is part and parcel of the process, right. Gotta go through the bad to get to the good, that's what I keep telling myself.
I keep battling this fervent desire to go on a crash diet and lose some magical, mythical amount of weight that will make my H and all men find me completely irresistible and fix my world. But...the truth is, I love food too much to do that - and my thin fantasies are just that, fantasies
So, I am continuing to plod along on my healthiness journey and plotting out realistic goals for myself. The truth of the matter is I was already in a marriage where my weight was the sole criteria for my perceived worth and I have to tell you, I don't want to go back there.
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Things with H are status quo. Yep, I still see him every day at work and yep, he still texts me several times a day. Sometimes, I respond, sometimes I don't. It depends on the question. He's also began to compliment me on my appearance and we continue to get along very well, lots of laughing. I always feel like I could be a comedienne when I'm with him. I make him laugh a lot.
But does this make me want to take him back? Nope. I can't forget the dark side of the coin...it's not a pretty picture and not at all what I want for my life or deserve.
Me: 33, H: 32 M: 12 years T: 13 years No kids D-Day: 7/2009 Separated: 10/12/10 Future Unknown GITS
"There's a fire starting in my heart, reaching a fever pitch and it's bringing me out the dark." - Adele
