The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul

[LearningPatience]

LP, I read through the whole thing. It sounds like you have some things to think about. However, it sounds to me like your W has a WHOLE LOT of things to think about. Hopefully your W will be able and willing to make some changes. If she doesn't make some changes, she will never find happiness. Hopefully she heard some of that - I don't think it's what she wanted to hear.

No, she probably doesn't want to hear that. It's funny, W has been seeing an IC now for a few years, but I have no idea what they talk about or if it's even helping her. I used to worry that W, by following these patterns she always has, would end up alone and unhappy. I'm still concerned, but realize this is her fight and I can do nothing but be supportive.

W has said many times she doesn't know if she can regain the feelings she had for me. This is complete mind reading, but I suspect she says that more to convince herself than to convince anyone else. I think she knows that it would be difficult to R, and that she's done a lot of hurtful things. I think she thinks it's easier to start new with someone else than do the work necessary to keep a R going.

One thing I read into it is you gave yourself a homework assignment in addition to the MC assignment. (Getting the Gottman book).

I did. Started reading it this morning. I've got to the part where Dr Gottman is talking about deep friendship as the basis to a happy marriage. MC is also talking about W and I rekindling our friendship. Coincidence... ?

Get your GAL'ing machine cranked up again. You are doing a fantastic job with it.

Thanks. This weekend might be a little rough. Start of football season, and W and I had a ritual where we'd sit on the couch, watch a game or two, have a beer or three and she'd fall asleep on my lap. Great lazy Sunday relaxation.