Ok so he wants you to be his therapist in a way...
Have you tried the "I want to help you but I am too biased/too close to the situation for that to work for either of us. But I'd be ok with it if we explored the idea of MC. Then the one "helping" is a 3rd party."
Maybe it's too soon for that, I don't know. But that's the part he isn't getting. You can't be helped to become detached from a partner enough to be self-reliant by having the attached partner HELP you do it. The only reason you gained your strength and independence, most likely, is because you didn't have him to "help" you do so. You had to do it either on your own or with the help of family and friends you weren't codependent with.
When I think about it, my XH's "plan" if he has one at all is to never spend one day of his life from age 20 on (and he's 45 now) without a woman. This sounds like your XH in that he's sounding like he's willing to break it off at some point for good with OW but only if you "help" him do it, which is completely messed up. All so he doesn't have to face any time alone.
M45 Bomb 6/09; EA 6/10; Divorced 1/11 Proud single mom of 7 little feline girls and one little feline boy "Fall down 53 times. Get up 54." -- Zen saying
