Been following for a little over a month now and I believe it time to ask for help.
July 18th - W needs time to think. August 25th - Asks for a divorce.
I've been keeping a journal somewhat using wordpad and I'll just post them up. I love my wife and kids more I've ever realised...!
TJ,
Welcome to a great place to come for a terrible reason.
First, if you learn about the approach to relationships this place espouses, your life will get better regardless of what happens in your marriage. YOU will become a better man for it. That matters.
Second, re: the realization you have had about your familial love, it's great that you have had this realization. Now,
RETAIN IT...
and post here under the same thread if you can b/c it's much easier for us to find you when you are in one place.
You can reply to others on theirs of course, but for your own story, stick around so we can follow along.
Also, fyi, I find it much easier to read if a writer posts in short-ish paragraphs. Your post was short but the long ones get too hard to read If it's all one long long narrative/paragraph.
YES couples can and do make it through marital crises.
Tell us how long you've been married, WHY she SAYS she wants out &
what you believe is valid about her complaints and what
YOU are doing to work on YOU... YOU are all you are in control of here. Don't forget that.
A lot of LBSers (Left Behind Spouses) get bogged down in the "WHY WHY??" and try to fix or change the Walk Away Spouse (WAS)
AND OR they obsess nonstop about what the WAS is doing/feeling/thinking/planning and of course, "WHY???"
Don't bother.
Do not plead or try to convince her of the merits of marriage to you. She is not interested in hearing that and the more you challenge her choices,
the more you force her to defend them, which cements more too.
Have you read the divorce busting book(S)?
THIS IS CRUCIAL TO DO, ASAP...Ch 1 is online I think.
The 2nd one is better in my opinion b/c it doesn't spend as much time on why divorce is bad b/c I get it. I don't want a divorce.
Whereas the 2nd book, "Divorce Remedy" has more of the "how to fix this now" info.
This is a "solution based therapy" approach. Divorce Busting is based on the simple but radical idea that we should do MORE of what helps the relationship
and none of, or less of, the things that hurt the marriage.
MANY MANY people talk about their past, their childhood issues, the trauma, the post traumatic stress and the hormones and the OTHER STUFF
that deserves attention, sometimes...
but this is NOT that place. This is about doing more of what works
and less/none of what does not work.
Tell us your story. You are not alone.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
