It's confusing trying to play a role you haven't had to play in over 20 years. I guess the funny thing is that when I'm with her I'm just enjoying myself, I'm not playing any role. We're just two people enjoying ourselves. I want that to continue whether once a week, twice a week or whatever. When she threw out the babysitting thing all my doubts and fears jumped up. I guess I just have to keep in mind what she said "we're fine, just relax" (damn I hate that word!lol). It's also the fact that I'm dealing with a different culture that has very different dating rituals. I'm used to dating three times and hitting the sack, being all over each other...and then it ends horribly. I'm not used to someone who blows me a kiss and gives me a hug and that's the best I'm gonna get for a long time. I'm not saying it's bad but the ruler I used to gauge my success with is far different right now. A friend of mine who has a Filipino spouse says that MM is very Filipino and playing this in a very Filipino way with all the teasing etc. Again, I'm at a disadvantage, it's not the same rule book I know.
