I just dont know how to act around him. The pain is so intense. He is trying to avoid seeing me, as in seeing me....he is here but its like he cant look at me.
Should i go ahead and be upbeat and smile...i wonder if he will see it as fake. He knows i am upset.
get the book and stop caring if he sees the purchase. What difference will it make? So what if he thinks you are "working on things"? Is it better for him to think you are inexplainably sad?
Meanwhile I think Ch 1 is online anyhow.
As for acting upbeat...YES not in a goofy fake way but in a way that shows you know you are a good person and you will ultimately be fine no matter what happens.
Oh, you say you don't FEEL that way? Tough. Fake it til you make it!
It works a lot. And, where the head goes, the heart will follow.
Get your head on straight and get a grip on yourself.
When you wonder about acting upbeat it's as if you think that will make it too easy on him.
Thing is, nothing is easier than leaving someone who reeks of neediness and desparation...even if he "stays" a month longer, all he'll recall is his sheer desire to flee.
Is that what you really want? I thought not.
You want him wondering what the heck is going on. And if you think truly that your disease is something that makes you unattractive you need to find a better support group.
Besides, if you are hoping his sense of duty kicks in, it won't be you trying to manipulate him with pouting or depression.
Fact is, you don't have a lot of choice here.
You need to "woman up" and be as pleasant (but authentic) as you can be.
Also, your d is watching you. Model grace under fire For Her...asap.
And good luck -you are not alone. And you will get through this. I promise.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
