Tonight's the big night... he wants "to talk". *[censored] breath in*... I'm putting on my "power panties" and walking into this like a golden opportunity to raise my stock.. not like a mouse into a lion's den.
I highly doubt he's spending the night so I'm going to journal after he leaves and get a lot of what is going to be dumped on my heart out there. Will be back in a few hours, I expect.
I don't know where this is all going... I feel so defeated and empty... not a lot of fight left in me. Some days I'm feeling like I just want this to be over. Some days not. As I read somewhere around here... I'm striving for "consistency of emotion".
Oh, and in other news.. my doctor gave me a month's worth of expensive anti-depressants.. for free! Good, I wasn't going to be able to afford them for much longer. Then she's moving me to a lower grade and less expensive prescription which she wants me to be on until March. I must say, they've certainly helped.. I feel melancholy now instead of in black, tearful despair.
Well, here I go. I'm going to read the 37 rules again, leave work and cross my fingers.
Good, I wasn't going to be able to afford them for much longer. Then she's moving me to a lower grade and less expensive prescription which she wants me to be on until March. I must say, they've certainly helped.. I feel melancholy now instead of in black, tearful despair.
