My faith gives me the courage to move forward

[Drew]

... she has not called me since then.

And ......

This doesn't make you wonder just a little bit?????

[MrBond]

Okay, so your sister told you to call the cops. Re-read your post, it implied that you called them because you distrusted your nephew. On top of that, you sent the detective to question them because you distrust them. Again, you have NO PROOF. Only that you don't trust them. It's the same attitude you had with the gentlemen who were treating you nicely. You started accusing them of having ulterior motives when they treated you kindly.

"my sister never had much common sense, thats why her older son is really screwed up."

Really? You can't pass judgment on others like that. It's the same way you pass judgment onto your H. Don't you see that? That's the whole point of all of this. It's not just towards your H that you act the way you do, it's with those closest to you.

And yet you complain about how you're so alone. Well no wonder when you keep judging people like that and push them away. Take care of that issue and your relationships and life will be much better.

How many times have you stated on your posts that "I'm so depressed". You have a choice to stay that way or to be happy. It's as simple as that. If you choose to be happy, then get help to get that way.

[rysmom]

it drives me crazy when people have no common sense. you dont leave your car key on top of your car tire when you are 4 hrs away from home and its the only key you have and cant afford to have your car stolen. I live in the metro area and you dont take risks like that.

[Drew]

$6800 gone and you're worried about the car keys????

I'm outta here .....

[MrBond]

But that's not your call. If she chooses to do that, it's her choice. It may not be the wisest choice, but it's her choice nonetheless.

Some may say that you don't have common sense from not contacting a L to protect your assets. Is that a fair accusation? Of course not. I believe the saying goes "let he who is without sin cast the first stone". Unless you start understanding that you need to accept people the way they are, how they think, what they do, you will remain in a state of paralysis. You expect people to act and behave they way you believe they should. It doesn't work that way.

[25yearsmlc]

I'm lost.

I thought your sister asked you, for some unknown reason, to CASH (not just bring it to her for HER to cash) a check. You did this instead of bringing the check to her. Then you carried this chunk of cash with you to on a trip, and then YOU still carried it from a car, instead of the hotel room or desk safe...why didnt' SHE carry it?

Why do you want to talk about how SHE lacks common sense? And about bad judgement with her son being with two girls...what??

(BTW, you don't know what your son does when he's at your exh's home,)

BUT hello?? Aren't we really missing the big point here?

The whole thing was wacky to start with.

If i were your sister and believed you lost my money, I'd be livid. I would not have "let it go" and if she's not calling you

I'm guessing she thinks You could have been more careful w/Her money (which she cannot get back).

If the situation were reversed and she lost your money or it was stolen from a car she may have put it in, (and told the teenagers about) would you be pretty darn mad?


I must be missing something...but what about


the question about whether you have seen a L yet.

[verycrazy]

I understand your letting the money situation go. Like you said, you have learned a valuable lesson. About trust, and being careful with your money. And, besides, when you discovered it missing, you reported to the proper authorities. Maybe the guilty culprit will be found, maybe not, probably not, but you did what you could by telling the hotel detective, and the police. So, letting that go is not a bad thing. If you have that much trust in your sister, then keep that trust, but never do that again. Let her cash her own checks.

I still think you need to initiate some contact with your H, however small. If you are really trying to change for the better, sustainable changes, shouldn't he see them sometime?
Please try to get a positive mental attitude for yourself, I feel your feelings are so scattered. You have so many conflicting emotions rushing through you, that it seems you don't know which way to turn. And then, coming here, and feeling put down, even though nobody here wants you to feel that way. Nobody wants you to get divorced from your H, unless you decide you can no longer live the way things are, and want out of it. Your H's continual adultery is like a slap in your face every day. He may do nice things for you, but he is living with ow. I know that just kills you a bit inside whenever you think about it, which is often. You have to be able somehow, to make yourself stop thinking about it every moment, because he is showing no signs of wanting anything from you right now. Could that change? Who knows?

I think you should examine your life, go back and read your posts from 2007, and see where you are relative to that time. In some ways I can see a tiny difference, but not much. One thing is you kept saying, "I will file, if H does this or that". You also said your state doesn't have legal separation. Well, if you are where I think you are, I believe they have Marital Settlement Agreement, Interspousal Agreement, or Property Settlement Agreement, all without ever obtaining a D. You may be able to file a complaint with the Superior Court of *** ****** seeking custody, support, alimony or all three without also filing for a D. They also have a Divorce from Bed and Board, which is similar to a legal separation, but not a divorce. Check with the bar in your state, to see if there is some other way to protect yourself, and get regular support. I could be wrong, but check it out.
I really wish for the best for you, but you have to start doing some really clear thinking for yourself.

vc

[rysmom]

thanks for post. i have ADD and find it very difficult to get documents together for d if that what i am going to do. i am not organized and i have to get a lot of stuff together and have been putting it off to long. i dont know how people get thru d getting all that stuff together. i dont know where it all is.

[25yearsmlc]

thanks for post. i have ADD and find it very difficult to get documents together for d if that what i am going to do. i am not organized and i have to get a lot of stuff together and have been putting it off to long. i dont know how people get thru d getting all that stuff together. i dont know where it all is.

but rys,

what are your other options?

You know what you have to do. Get Unstuck. Move forward.

Life is short and it's a precious gift.

Please Don't waste any more of yours paralyzed in fear/indecision.

[rysmom]

do you think you h would have come back if you didnt file for separation? did he have ow in alaska?