Saw your post in another thread ML--glad you are doing well. I think your X is a stubborn one, and maybe they never really come out of it, in some cases, but I think that some of them do.
I have a hard time imagining what it must be like for your X to see S as a young man. I hope their R has improved.
M: 16 years Bomb 4/07 OW 20s long gone Divorced 11/09 I remarried New Guy Cooperative r w/X regarding D