Hi all, just dropping in, update for over 6 years of mlc is that the lad is still out to lunch, still not contacting his only child or elderly aunt, He is stuck in the tunnel and that is where I expect him to stay now, not moving through it at all. Son is starting his second year in college and doing well, looking forward to starting driving lessons, he as blossomed from the ten year old child his dad left into a strapping young handsome man, my oh my he must take after me. Myself I am good, get on with life, have my outing with my friends at the local watering hole, plenty of holidays plenty of laughs and life at the minute couldn't be any better. Hope you are all doing okay yourselves xxxxxxx
Some newbies need to know that even if things don't work out the way they think they want them to
they'll ultimately be fine.
The men/women I know who were left behind, are nearly all happier now than they would have been if their x's had returned to the marriages they had...after 2-3 years, I cannot think of one who isn't happier actually...(but those years in between, sure do stink.)
Thanks.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
I'm just a little over 2 years and his cycles continue. Monster doesn't show his ugly face to often anymore but peeks out once in a while. Fog is still very thick and his thinking is still very messed up. He's confused, analyzes everything, still gets extremely depress and doesn't know what has happened nor what is happening now. So don't talk about the future because it doesn't exist right now. He's in the past and moving forward VERY SLOWLY.
As for me and my 4 children, we all know that we are better off without him. We don't want him back but my children don't want to be abandonned. We are all doing well in general. We go down when XH attacks our self-esteem. Mine is coming back in full force and i will not let him abuse me anymore. It's his self destruction that i have a hard time dealing with. To much compassion i guess. I want what is best for him and my heart break when i see him broken to pieces. He has alot to work on and i can see that he's doing the work but he is far from coming out to the other side. OW as been in and out for the ninth time. Now out for the past 2 weeks.She's also a broken soul.
I'm not seeing anyone. My life as enough excitement as it is. More then i can handle sometimes but i'm proud of myself AND my kids. We are way better then the couple of years that as past and looking forward to feeling even better next year.
I don't know your situation other than what you posted. But you sure know a lot about your exh and his ow's r.
Have you tried detaching more so Your life goes as well as possible?
I think a lot of us measure how well we are doing by how poorly or well the ex is doing but that's not in our control. Our happiness is. Theirs, or lack of, cannot be an index we use to measure ours by.
Make sense?
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
I'm a relative newbie, as my XH has only been in the tunnel now for 2 years. I was thinking of this just the other night. The signs I chose to ignore in the Fall of 2009, and thought, OMG! Its been 2 years. Although we have only been D a short time, and he has remarried the OW, I have to say that I feel very good about my life as it is now. Much more peaceful. R with children more relaxed. Enjoy grands even more than before. I think my feeling out of sorts is residual hurt for the betrayal in the first place. He is still unable to take responsibility for any fault whatsoever. It was ALL me. Oh, and that drinking problem? As long as they make rum, IT'S NOT A PROBLEM.
Long story short, I AM in a better place than I was 2 years ago. Despite financial difficulties, change in status, etc., my life is better all the time. I still love the old H I married, but, for the time being, he is gone bye-bye, and I can live with that.
It stories seem to run similar with a few minor detail differences
1. XH not as good a father 2. OW not the best of choices 3. XH continues mAKIN POOR CHOICES FOR MANY YEARS after bomb 4. some get apology- some xh try to return 5. most do not want to pay and try to adjust the support 6. some abandon their children althgether some abandom their family of origin 7. some turn to addiction of some sort some few seem to get real help and stick with it 8. MOST OF THE lbs seem to land on their feet stronger some in new relationshiops, many with good careers and good relationships with family kids and friends.
married 14 years H 42 bomb 2/07 IDLYA D final 3 /09 M ow D ow
