Is filing for D a 180?

[luvmyhubby]

So I havent been in a while and thought I would pop in and update everything. The D is filed as of 8/17/11 by him. He filed alone (we agreed to go together) and left the paperwork on my bathroom counter. He didnt tell me or leave the papers for 3 days.. So now it seems his family is getting his sad side of the story and i am the bad person. I caused the breakdown and forced him into leaving and adultery. I know the truth and have since stopped all communication with his family except for a few members.
I have limited contact with them to only a few things. I started a Divorce Care class yesterday and wanted to cry the whole time. As happy as I think I eventually will be I think the wounds are so fresh they really hurt.

I no longer see him every day, only for regular visitation. I have put my boundaries up with visitation and made a schedule. We have agreed on everything for the divorce so it should be failry easy and cheap. This is his major concern..

I can look back now at the events and see that he would have never done anything if I hadnt forced. I dont mean this in a bad way towards me but that he was content chasing the OW and living at home. He didnt come clean until I forced it out of him. So I believe he was securing his new relationship before completely snapping ours off.

For example he didnt tell me he actually wanted a divorce until after he slept with her. (he admitted this after I told him I KNEW the date). He didnt tell me we wouldnt work until after he spent a fun filled weekend with her and had pictures.

I am trying very hard to let go and to forgive etc but every day is a challenge. I am praying that my classes will help me work through that. I an relying on friends to keep me busy and to help me work through my pain and hurt.

I do have good days and love spending time with my children. Praying for my own healing and that the father of my children will still provide emotional and financial support for his kids. I also pray that he walks the path he needs to walk and learns the lessons put before him.