Hi JB, did you ask your S about the bullying specifically? As an outsider looking in it does seem to me like this is him acting out, maybe partially because of school, partially your sitch. Do you talk to him much about that?
No, in this case specifically, I did not. He talked about it a bit over the summer when he was going to day camp. He said he was being bullied there. It seemed like it amounted to he was being teased. I will talk to him about our situation, but I will let him bring it up.
Originally Posted By: realormakebeliev
Is there any possibility your S is more comfortable venting to your W?
There is that possibility. She is Mom. She also is much more likely to react to any drama he creates. He has established a reputation for creating drama, even when we were still together. My W has reacted drastically at times to his drama. Sometimes, she tends to take his drama to the point of where it's a reflection on her.
Side story: In fact, the Monday before the bomb (#2), my W and S were out and had just gotten home. My S came in the house, and I was expecting my W to come in shortly thereafter. I gave it several minutes. I found my W in the car in the driveway, completely exasperated. I tried to give her the chance to vent. She said she just wanted to be alone. I went ahead and climbed in frustrated about our S having meltdowns every once in a while. It was almost to the point where I think she was severely embarrassed. I took the time that night to sit down with my S and just talk to him. He seemed to improve dramatically after that.
I think both my W and I are fixers. She's more a quick fixer, and I'm more of a troubleshooter. I think both approaches have their merits and drawbacks.
