been gone so long couldn't find my thread! lol!

[TAMF]

I just received a message from someone that I care about very much...he suggested that I clarify my mindset on the boards. I am telling you all what my H is doing and my reactions to him, but I am not telling you the extent of my confusion.

Does he have options on where he can sleep?

Yes!

1. I told him that he could stay at the house and I would stay with my mom and dad. They live across the street and this wouldn't disrupt the children.

2. He can move in with his buddy that he lived with for months in the beginning of our relationship.

3. He could get his own apt.

He instead is choosing to stay in his apt. with her until they can get out of the lease they are in. This proves to me that they only said they broke up, but they can't let go.

I asked him if I can text her and confirm that it is really over. He said, no - just leave the poor girl alone. she has been through enough. I said, can you have her text me then that it is over. He said yes he would ask her to do that.

I have never gotten a text from her.

Also, and this is something I just admitted to myself. It is painful to admit. The part of me that would consider getting back together with my H is really just wanting him to be away from her. My girls HATE her. They have so much anxiety over her being in their lives that it terrifies me. If I choose to go back to him, my girls would never have to meet her. I would be protecting them.


So what does that say for me? that I am willing to settle for a man that wants to be with me because I am the path of least resistance. staying together for the kids? we would both be doing ourselves an injustice.

Lastly, I have started to have genuine feelings for someone else. I haven't mentioned this before, because in all honesty I have kept it separate and private. but I am honest with myself when I say I have looked at this situation with my H all by itself. In the end, I am going to make the best choice for me.

I WANT TO SCREAM I AM SO MAD - he does this to me right when I am so happy. I am living my life. I am no longer in pain.

Now I am consumed with this confusion, doubt, anger, love...

I was asked "what was your goal by DBing? Do you know how many people who would love to have the opportunity you are recieving?"

Am I really recieving an opportunity? or more pain. more anxiety. more doubt.

So far he is just a smooth talker...