Do what I can but still have questions 4

[soccerwife]

It took a whole month but I think I have finaly moved from acceptance of the situation to acceptance of proactive actions. I know I will still make mistakes from time to time, and I will undoubtedly have relapses of negative feelings. But from now on I am attempting nothing but unconditional love, persistance, and patience. The best me I can be. It is in God's hands from there.

H has been ill-manored the last few days. He is finding my upbeat demeanor annoying, but he is just going to have to get over it.

As I mentioned before, and as is indicated by my screen name, H is a soccer coach. I asked him how his first game of the season went last night and he tried not to answer me and then sarcastically mumbled under his breath, "ya, your interested NOW", indicating that I have not been interested in years past.

(That actually isn't completely true. The first year he coached I was interested, the second I was not because I just started a new job, the third I was interested again because he made a point to tell me that he felt neglected, and this year is the fourth year. He has a way of distorting reality and that makes things very difficult.)

Anyway, the fact that he acknowledges a change in me is a positive sign. I will just have to keep it going. And not just to save the M, but because it is the right hting to do. I love him and I want him to be happy so I should take an interest in what is important to him. I am going to try to get his game schedule and take our kids to a game for a surprise visit. That is a complete 180 of what he would expect from me and I think it will show how much I really care.