Wife no longer in love with me - Part 3

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The truth is chances of R in these sitchs is rare, but not impossible.

Thanks Country and AC. The counsellor was good, she wasn't that negative , more so focusing on why things happened and reinforcing that it is most likely over for good. I guess if the chances of R in these sitchs is rare, then sometimes i question why I'm here, why are we all here?? Aren't we all here to DB and save our marriages? Yes we can improve ourselves in the hope that we become better people and spouses our w or h would be stupid to leave, but ultimately we want to save our M and get back what we had in an improved state.
I dont think the C made me see the futility of my sitch, it was probably more me. When I sit and explain my sitch to people, everyone reacts the same - they seem staggered. Its probably the way I tell it or the spin I put on it, but in no way am I soft on myself, it's the opposite, I take full blame for it. I think when I look at what's happened, who my W is, how I was, the 'water that's gone under the bridge', I just feel pessimistic. I am always holding on to hope, it's probably false, but I cling to it. I still see the great things about us, the friendship, bond and love we had. Yes, this has been a sh1t time for us, and we both have made mistakes, but i still see that nothing is irreparable. My W thinks other.

Denver, I am not giving up. I am in a dark place now and have been for a while, I can't imagine the extended pain and sadness when it actually is final. But I need to prepare for that. In the meantime, I will continue to be dark, hang out overseas on work trips and ignore her for 6 weeks. 1 down tomorrow, 5 to go and will see where I'm at.
I find it strange that she was so gun ho with lawyers in late June, and there hasn't been anything since. I got a follow up letter in mid July, after we had a nice catch up, which I ignored, but nothing since. I screen my calls most days waiting for my lawyer to call me and say they have contacted her. Don't know what to make of that, probably when she gets her stuff from the house then she will be full steam ahead with the lawyers.