True, I just read your post, and I may have this wrong, but here is my 2c.
Your wife is not done. She is imo starting to wake up, but admitting to herself and others the extent of hurt she has caused you is probably more than she can bear at present.
I see the emergence from MLC as a gradual putting back together of the self, and it happens in strange ways that are not at all rational. What I suspect she is looking for from you at the moment is love, reassurance, acceptance of who she is now, as a platform for any future relationship you might have.
She cannot cope with any demands, and pressure, or any expectations. She is still somewhat justifying her choices, but also recognizing that they could have been poor ones. This is actually HUGE for the MLCer
She is also affirming who you are. Honestly i think that is the most she can do at present.
Now, you do not dictate any terms. Good truces, good peaces are not made like that. This is not a battle, and eventually you both need to come out of this as stronger and better people, either together or as friends.
True, this is nowhere near over, either the relationship or the crisis. This is where you can step up and show your mettle in affirming her and letting her go with the knowledge that you are not closing the door on her. She desperately needs to know that she is truly loved for who she is. This will enable her to struggle on rebuilding her shattered self.
It will take lots more time. And perhaps you do not want to wait - who does. No one can criticise any LBS who has had enough The outcome is uncertain, and there may not be enough left to rebuild a marriage. But these are choices only you can make. Your wife is not cooked yet, nor is divorce the end. Hugs
