Journaling.....it's 12:13 am on September 8th. I made it through our anniversary. That was a nightmare. Tried to stay busy, but my heart was heavy throughout the day. I have one more tough day to go through this week...Friday is my birthday...not sure what to expect, if anything.
I felt like things were starting to go well. She came by Tuesday to drop off some clothes for the kids. I noticed she was wearing a ring on her wedding finger again. She caught me staring at her with a smile on my face. She looked at me and said, "what?" I simply smiled and said "nothing" and she gave me a smile that I haven't seen in awhile. My daughter told me (with no coercion from me) that my W told her that she was not going to be playing with the OW's child for a long time. I don't know what happened, but one of them is mad at the other. Who knows?
I dropped off some clothes and stuff for the kids tonight. With it being our anniversary, I snuck up to her door and put the kid's stuff in front of it then left. She apparently found it because I got a "Ty" text from her later. I also had to email her about the gas bill because it's in her name...it's getting cold and I want to make sure I have gas in my name. She told me to keep it in her name for now because I'll have to pay a deposit. I told her to go ahead and cancel it, I will just pay the deposit.
Sandi....I used your guidelines for writing the apology letter. She doesn't check email often so I put it on her door at her place. You're right, she never responded. In a previous post you said that what my W once craved from me is now a turn off. You're right, I don't understand this. What does she want? Nothing? For me to leave her alone? I don't get it. I feel like I'm fighting an invisible opponent...I have no idea how to approach it. Any insight would be helpful. Try not to get too frustrated with me...I'm a male...sometimes, we just don't get it...or think.
Oh yeah, and thanks for the encouraging words earlier today.
