With regard to your female friend, perhaps she isn't wanting to add pressure during what she knows is a difficult time for you. If the friendship is meant to flourish, then it will. If it doesn't, TOTALLY her loss. Just like it is your wife's loss if she doesn't wake up from la-la land soon. Take some advice from your book and NO MORE MR. NICE GUY! Actually, still be a little bit of Mr. Nice Guy...we all like him so much!
I'm sorry you're having a rough time. I know it's up and down, good days/moments, bad days/moments. There are so many stresses, as you mentioned, in addition to just the emotional stress. At times I become overwhelmed with worry...about money, the future in general, being alone for the rest of my life...but I have to stop myself from that. Remember: "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." (Philippians 4:6-7). I believe this with all my heart, and I know you do, too. Now live that faith of yours out loud.
I know it's up and down, good days/moments, bad days/moments. There are so many stresses, as you mentioned, in addition to just the emotional stress. At times I become overwhelmed with worry...about money, the future in general, being alone for the rest of my life...but I have to stop myself from that. Remember: