Wow...thanks so much, y'all, for your input and support. In my situation, I have always spread myself so thin...I am very social, have been involved in every organization under the sun, and, before D bomb #1, I never felt comfortable saying "no" or quitting something even when I wasn't enjoying it. I'm also very physically active, so it's always been go, go, go with me...this on top of mothering 4 young children. I'm the Energizer Bunny!
When our marital problems became public with D bomb #1 (remember, we live in a smallish city, so it was the talk of the town), I decided to start weeding out the things (and some people!) I wasn't enjoying, and I am now involved in what I like most. It's a much better lifestyle for my family and for me. So, like you, E., I think now is the time for me to focus on following my true passion and working toward some personal goals I have. Thanks for sharing your experience with me. It really helped me wrap my brain around what I'm wanting to do to bring on some changes in my life. I know that is all about as clear as mud...but really, your words helped me.
On a different note, and I need advice here, H has been coming around everyday and night. On my nights with the kids, he wants to come over and help with homework, hang out with the kids, etc, so I've been letting him. The texting between us is pretty frequent as well. I'm not pursuing in anyway, but I'm certainly not "dark" with him. I'm just comfortable and kind, not overly eager. I'm still feeling pretty detached, at peace with things if they go either way. However, I'm wondering if I'm giving him too much freedom to come and go as he wishes? He stays at his house overnight, but we are occasionally affectionate toward each other (never in front of the kids). If I keep letting him come and go as he wishes, am I setting a standard that this is okay? For now it is okay, but at some point, we need to decide to divorce or move back in together. I'm not trying to get ahead of myself or feeling pressure for one thing or another right now, but I'm just wondering if I'm doing the right thing.
Again, any advice is appreciated. I feel like I should be paying y'all for the wonderful advice you give!
