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A WAS DB'ing? Now that would be a paradox to behold. crazy


I often wonder if there has ever been a case where a WAS regretted what they did and ended up on this board, while the LBS had already been on here for a while. And if they didn't figure it out, would they give each other advice? Would that advice be good?

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But this book's first two chapters resulted in the biggest light bulb, aha! moment I've had since this whole thing began. Everything just made so much more sense. I could feel my anxiety dissipating noticeably. I stopped crying. And I slept.


It's a great book. Keep reading because I think what you learn will really enhance your DBing efforts and provide some intellectual scaffolding to your PMA and GAL. In doing so, it will provide you with meaningful endurance and grit - two of the most important parts of people who are resilient and thrive. I suspect those things will help your M, and I know they will lead you to a good place.

Schnarch's other books are very good, too. Intimacy and Desire has a lot of interesting information, and seems built around developing a schema on the neuro-psychological elements of his trademarks 'four points of balance.' It is written in more of the popular style of today's books, but that doesn't take anything away from it.

Constructing the Sexual Crucible is a tough read - way more dense. However if you can get ahold of it - it's really powerful stuff.


M: 32
W: 29
T: 9 Years
M: 4 Years
I hit rock bottom: 2/11
PA admitted: 4/11
WAW: 5/11
D filed: 6/11
now: Patience, wisdom, and growth - hopefully.