Wife no longer in love with me - Part 3

[aeolianchaos]

Cam,

First - congrats on seeing an IC. It's great that she was a bit confronting - you wouldn't want someone who didn't help you see where you need to grow, right?

The IC can only really help you see what you tell her.

Assume that you have a bias. We all do.

she made me see the reality that my M will most likely never be saved and I have lost my W for good

This seems to be where you go when you feel down anyways, so did she really make you see it or did your thoughts reflect that belief when you were in there? They can only suggest whats probable based on the evidence you present.

What is good to hear, is that she is helping you through the distorted thinking of assigning all the blame to yourself. That is really important. You can't really move forward as long as you hold on to that belief.

in reality my W and I will never come together again without some sort of miracle occuring - and they don't happen too often do they!

Maybe. Maybe not. Like you said, you can keep doing the work on yourself. If the possibility of R arises, you are in a better place to handle it and have a better shot at success.

If it doesn't - you are in a better place with yourself. And you will have worked through things that negatively affected your R w/ your W.

You know that statistic? The one about how 60% of 2nd marriages end in divorce? You drastically improve your personal odds by making real changes to yourself. You will be more likely to end up with a partner who is going to be willing to confront the hard work of marriage.

Either way, Cam, you are in a position to make some significant changes for yourself and be a happier person for it.