I've got 54 days to receive a miracle.

[tadpole1025]

Thanks everyone.

Brooklyn, of course you can chime in!!!! I knew I forgot a few people once I hit the submit button.

Today is my day off from work. I was going to go out with a friend today, but I just couldn't get out of bed. Too tired.

I'm completely dark on W right now. I don't contact or talk to her at all unless she contacts me. Period. The texts that she sent to me the other day were just crazy. I mean, why would she even bring up a girlfriend that I had in the 6th grade? She is nuts.

I wonder, in your marriage, were you ever a manipulator or controlling person? Did you ever try to manipulate a situation to your own advantage? Did you do this often with her? If you did, then why? Were you insecure, have self-esteem issues, etc?

Good question. I've always had self-esteem issues to a degree. As far as being manipulative, I really don't think I am that type of person. W told me that I liked control, but of course, I never heard this complaint until the MLC started. If anyone was a manipulator, it was her. SHE was the one that was always insecure and never thought she was good enough for anyone or anything. Since this began, every one of my boys have told me at one time or another that I always went out of my way to give her anything that she wanted. They are right too. I wasn't the best husband, but I was a pretty good one. W got everything.....

...people who use manipulation to control others do it for the boost to their self-esteem, the whole "I can make people do things..." She wants to keep you as a friend so she can continue to do this. If you aren't in her life, she loses the ability to control you...which is a blow to her self-esteem.

But......she doesn't want me in her life. Or....does she only want me in her life on HER terms?

Realize that her being happy... let's just say that you have proven to be too close to the situation to effectively judge that.

I see your point AJ.

The truth of the matter was that he didnt want to be with me now. He wanted space. He wanted to try to find happiness.

Yeah. I just need to leave her alone. When she doesn try to talk to me, I need to not argue, question or defend....

IF YOU ARE HAPPY..in your life, with yourself...WOULD YOU MAKE SOMEONE ELSE miserable? Would you spew venom? Would you be difficult? Really think about it for a sec....

Say you were on the beach...hanging out, having a drink, wife looking hot next to ya...I mean everything just hunky dory..

Would you act the way that she is acting?

Haha. Very good example Eric. Never really thought of it this way.

Nothing really to update. She continues to send our boys one text a night that says "I love you. Goodnight." I think that she really misses them. She's not missing me yet though.....

Tad