Originally Posted By: jbnati
One thing I didn't mention to her and that one thing our MC suggested when I went to him after bomb #2. He suggested our S is imitating my W. crazy

I'd like to think this is the first sign of my W's idealized lifestyle crumbling. However, she probably doesn't see it that way. crazy I'm sure she'd never buy the imitation theory suggested by our MC, either. crazy Unfortunately, she is seeing it as his problem.

One thing that was disturbing during this was she suggested / threatened to change his school because "she doesn't need a repeat of fourth grade". That's the right way to deal with it! smirk mad Just walk away. crazy

OK, done venting now. smile


I think the WAS will spin anything and everything to validate their choices so I wouldn't be surprised if she refused to consider that S is "imitating" her.

Perhaps, you can use this situation as a chance to teach your S that when things get tough, that running away is not always the best solution. I mean why wouldn't S think running away (or changing schools) is a solution - especially when Mommy did it. crazy

In our school district, there is a zero tolerance bully program so when D was bullied in Grade 8, we had a meeting with the school counselor and principal to come up with a series of solutions. These involved not only dealing with the bully and her behaviours but educating my daughter in standing up for herself, not being afraid to report any further incidents, counseling (in school) for both the bully and my D together and apart, etc. (Btw, that bully and my D are now friends). And my D truly understands that it was more about the bully than her. A good lesson in that, I think.

Anyway, I'm sorry your S is going through this, jb. I have no doubt that he is reacting to the effects of your separation.