"LITB" AND "Seminolewind", Thank you both so much for the words of wisdom / experience. I also appreciate the link to the detachment thread. Although, a lot of this stuff isn't new, I still find it helpful to read and I find that it makes good sense 'intellectually'. When it comes to moving these beliefs and thoughts 18 inches lower from my head to my heart, that is where the real challenge comes in. As if that weren't enough to transform these beliefs into heartfelt ones, the process of delivering my thoughts in message form to my W in the same kind, patient, loving way I had intended, is NO easy task. My emotions still manage to find their way into that communication in some form or another.
I realize that I don't have to explain all my thoughts and feelings to you folks in this forum given that you have already experienced this stuff (and maybe you still are dealing with some of this) but, I think it does my heart good to share it anyway. There is a restorative element to putting these feelings down on paper and sharing them with another human being. I certainly don't claim to understand the 'why' or the 'how' of it but I don't have to. The fact that it works is good enough for me (at least for today).
I received my copy of the DR (Divorce Remedy) book today and it is not a minute too soon. I feel like it is the life line that I have been needing to go along with the forum. The combination of hope that comes from your stories and experience PLUS the solutions based approach that is in the book are vital to my survival right now and I know that. I will post again as soon as I figure out what I think of the book (or as soon as my next melt-down occurs)whichever comes first. Just a little relief would be nice....just a little bit.
Mike
___________ Me: 49 W: 51 Together 24 (M 17) SS31 SD 28 S 17 Bomb Dropped 8/12/2011 Still hopeful.
