as Yoda would say....the force is strong in you...

[ericmsant2]

Thank you SA, MHL, Cadet, B, Antonia, Pun and Country.

I wanted to keep journaling exactly how I am feeling….

A few minutes ago I received a call from the attny that I am to be in court at 1pm.

So how do I feel?

A few words come to mind…
Sad, nervous, anxious, emotional, relief….wow…I seem to be cycling through a host of different emotions.

The L's have decided to meet prior to the actual divorce to see if STBXW and I can hash out the remaining open issues, which are:

- Official Parenting Plan: I have requested Wed, Thursday and every other Friday, Sat and Sun. STBXW wants me to have them Thurs, Friday, Saturday and every other Wed. I am willing to accept Wed, Thur, Friday and every other Saturday with 12 full weekends a year (Fri – Sun). The good news..is that a 50/50 custody agreement has been reached.

- College: STBXW originally agreed that her and I would deal with this outside of the court. The new request is to have the court reserve jurisdiction. My hope is to secure an acceptance on my oldest, whereby we split the cost 50/50 and let the court reserve jurisdiction for the two younger ones.

- Cohabitation: STBXW want no change in alimony regardless of her cohabitation status for the next six years. In short, she wants alimony even if she were to remarry or live with someone else. In addition, she has requested that if I cohabitate that the alimony remain non-modifable for the next 10 years. My response here is GO F yourself.

- Salary Cap: In an attempt to avoid having to go back to court every year, I have requested what is called a safe harbor. This provides a safety net for both of us. What it means is that if my salary (excluding bonus) remains less than a 25% increase to my current income that STBXW cannot take me back for more alimony. The same rule applies to her. This is a fight since OM is her supervisor and she has already turned down a promotion. It was turned down since it would mean that I would pay her less. My goal here is to stick to my guns and keep the salary cap language in the aggrement.

- Bonus: STBXW has requested 40% of the bonus dollars on a pre-tax basis. I have offered 20%. My goal settle at 25%.

- Global Support: Alimony and Child Support. We have already agreed to not modify the child support when my oldest turns 18 (this Dec). The current structure has her receiving more alimony than all 3 kids combined. This will be the biggest battle.

Prayer are appreciated….. I may not post for a few days as I sort out how I feel. As usual, I will have a lot to say.
As the time is ticking…the feeling are washing over me. Funny thing…I don’t feel scared….if anything…I feel more sadness mixed with some anger. The anger comes from how this process was dealt with. I know it will not remain…I CHOOSE for it not to remain…but damn…I still feel it.

Today, I will have my kids with me. I wanted them with me today!

Today, we will start our new journey….me as a single kick as* dad with his little girl in his arms and his boys by his side…. Them, as children from divorce. Wrong? No...just different.

Today we are going to have steak for dinner (daddy style)!

I’m gonna have a beer and maybe watch a movie with the kiddies.

As for STBXW……

I have no idea. I hope she finds what she is looking for and find her happiness.

Eric