Epilogue

[Telemark]

Journaling and venting on this rainy Wednesday morning...

Went to the office early because being in my own house gets more depressing every day. It looks like I have to find a 2nd job just to keep up with the bills and buy enough furniture to at least be comfortable (using the patio furniture inside is not doing it for me). My 11 year old Taurus may die at any moment and I'm continuing to help my daughter - but I would shovel s**t in a snowstorm to help her.

Just more collateral damage from this situation.

Not a word from W after she sent the "filing for a D online" e-mail. I'm not going to ask. It's definitely a quandary - part of me wants to get it over with so I can officially, legally, emotionally and morally move on, and part of me is still holding on to some surreal hope that everything will work out, W will wake up and have a change of heart and we'll live happily ever after.

I think scenario #1 is the safe bet.

Had dinner last Thursday with a new friend - female friend - which was a nice break. No, I'm not looking to dive into any kind of relationship right now; but it was nice to have dinner with someone other than my 3 dogs. Unfortunately she has dropped off the radar since then, so of course I'm thinking, "What did I do wrong? Did I say something stupid? Was my fly unzipped?"

Yeah, that's what I need...more angst about my relationship with women.

I did just finish reading No More Mr. Nice Guy. Every page I would stop, shake my head and say to myself, "That's me. To a T". I think the title should be No More Mr./Mrs/Miss Nice Person, because I could also see my W there very clearly. If you have not read this book, buy it. Read it. Even if you think you are the world's biggest prick, there will be something in there to use.

If someone told me one year ago that this is where I would be today, I would have had them committed.