Back and 25, While I do think our behaviours can reduce the time of a mild MLC [and I do think there are degrees of severity], I am not sure that a severe one is reduced whatever we do. At least that is my experience and what I see on these boards.
Where they remain reasonably pleasant and in contact, our behaviour is an important factor, but when they run fast and hard they are barely looking at us for a long time.
To give a current example of a wonderful lady here, Punkin, who is clearly getting a life, and yet her xh has just married OW.
Of course we need to get a life, and be independent, but it may or may not shorten the MLC, it may or may not encourage the MLcer to want to return sooner. It is their journey and it is over if and when it is over. Some of them need a long time. I also know of MLCers who returned 'too soon' because of a wonderful partner, and then ran again because they were not done.
Incidentally 25 - I agree with what you said on Valeria'a thread about not doing it again. Someone who used to post here and who reconciled said the exact same thing. We can do it once, and it shapes us . . .
