When the kids are at school, every morning I don't have the kids I text my wife with "are the kids ok", and I get a " yes, fine" back.
It works for me, no real contact, but I know they are ok and gone to school.
So this morning I text " are the kids ok", expecting the usual back, but instead she phones me!, starts telling me how our son is fine and really seems older, he's 12, doing his hair etc, but our little girl, was tired, and was having a tantrum, and venting against my wife, we were both laughing about her, we spoke about me picking them up from school later, then she had to go as she was entering work.
I know this is going to sound totally stupid, but it feels like we are a family again, this is what happened when we were together and things were great?, I wold call her on a morning after she had took the kids to school, we would talk about them, etc, then go to work??
I am speaking to her more than ever, I cannot believe how relaxed we both seem talking to each other, there is no awkwardness, or hurtful remarks.
We are getting on so so well, its scary!!
We spoke last night until around 9.30, then this morning at 8.30, both conversations didn't really need to happen, and 6 weeks ago it would have just been a text??
Again I'm getting hopeful, I'm excited about the future and the changes I am making and the reactions I'm getting. But again when I calm down I get scared that I'm heading for another fall!!!!!
I just come on here to vent, to journal, to get things off my chest.
I love my wife and family SOOO much, I've messed up, but there is a light, its very dim, and might not actualy be a light, but calls like that from her give me hope, we talk, we laugh, she sounds happy.
I'm happier than I have been in a very long time, years even.
I don't drink, I feel fit, I look healthy, and I speak to me kids and best friend every day.
