She's STILL running away!!!!

[25yearsmlc]

don't do it the publicizing of your thread. It's not as helpful to you as you believe, for one.

ASSUMING SHE FILED FOR A PROTECTIVE ORDER AGAINST YOU as opposed to a standard cooling off of 10 days motion....(SO, understand that this note is premised on that Protective Order assumption, okay?)

IF So, IMO, you'd be a fool to go anywhere with her without an adult witness, OR only meet in public places. AND OR Tape the meetings if you like and do it openly so she knows how seriously you take this and how far over the line she has gone.

IMO
She needs to retract that motion and frickin' apologize OR there's nothing to talk "in private" about.

Worse, IF she is starting to believe it herself then nothing you "agree to" will be worth the paper it's not written on anyhow.

You worry about the costs but Paying $10k for lawyers in the next few months will save you a lot of heartache in the long run, and probably save you money too,

when compared to facing domestic abuse charges, losing a job b/c of that, or being found not guilty, but always having to answer on every job application you fill out, that you were once charged with that. It's a big pain in the butt.

I had a physician client whose batchit crazy teenager d went thru a terrible spell. SHE alleged my client had abused her when he restrained her from hitting her mother, who was disabled with a brain tumor. I kid you not.

The brilliant and insightful (and professionally envious) social worker, without the benefit of a judge or lawyer or witness, found the claim "substantiated" but no charges were filed b/c when a real lawyer at the district attorney's office saw it, he said "no way is there sufficient evidence...what were you thinking?"

So the charges went nowhere but the finding of "substantiated" by a social worker, stuck to him like dog poop.

The next year when the doctor and his family relocated, he was NOT granted privileges at the hospital that had hired him, nor was he able to get a medical license for over 7 months...unemployed waitiing...and flying back to the one state his license was still secure in, 2300 miles away.

All b/c of the "domestic abuse" charge that wasn't actually a charge. Also could not get a hunting license as he was no longer allowed to own a gun in the new state...had to hire a lawyer in the new state to appeal that, and spent close to $50k trying to undo a non conviction!

This crap can haunt you. Don't skimp on the "legal insurance" costs your wife just hiked up.

YES RO, I am a L so you can say "oh, 25 is biased..." but the thing is, I am actually well informed and justly paranoid.

I don't believe this WILL happen to you, but I'm telling you it CAN happen to you. Protect yourself. Your wife's request to settle it privately after filing such a motion means she's either planning an ambush or is clueless about what she has done. I suspect the latter. If you can tell her without anger but with the type of concern you'd have if the biopsy results were still pending...then tell her what the consequences of this can be...what was the goal of that motion? (Boy, I'd make it clear she did not reach that goal, OR if there is some validity to her fears, then take it in and admit it and see how you are perceived...)



If she filed for a PO, she's lost the right to ask for a "sit down" talk. You cannot afford that anymore. You value your freedom too much. She crossed the line.

Maybe you two can work things out but without a HUGE recognition of what she has done, and how much more it will cost both of you now, how? And

what's the point of pretending it's all cool? Don't enable.

I have to figure out a DB answer for the rest of your sitch but as a L I say again, protect yourself. It's also a way of protecting the kids too.

Sorry RO.