Beatrice, lol, I'm still trying to figure out your old username!!
As for my XH, even during the worst of it, I never completely stopped loving him - I just didn't want to be around him. I don't think vindication is the right word to explain my feelings right now. I wish the MLC had never happened. I feel a deep sadness for all we lost. I also feel compassion for H because, in spite of all the meanness and hurt he caused me and our family, he hurt himself more. He is a broken man and is reaching out to me. I'm weighing the hurt he caused me against the compassion I feel for him. It's a tough decision
I think it's common for them to be in denial about the hurt and destruction they caused. My XH couldn't (wouldn't) face up to it until very recently. He used to blame me for everyting. Now he blames only himself and asked for forgiveness.
It's good that your H is inching out of MLC but it's a long and slow process. It's so important to think about yourself and enjoy your life as much as you can if you choose to wait it out.
My H wanted me to stay right where he left me - it gave him a sense of unlimited time to continue his bad behavior. He didn't want me to get a life without him. When he finally sensed that I wasn't waiting in the wings for him anymore, I think that helped rush the end of the MLC. I wish I had realized this sooner.