Do what I can but still have questions 4

[soccerwife]

My H considers asking for what I want to be pursuit. He would say, "you already know how I feel."

So, I messed up again last night. Not as badly as I have before, but I still could have done things differently.

I tried to start a nice conversation asking him if he had a fun weekend. He responded with, "more fun than I would have had here." I said, "life isn't about you having fun at all times" and he said "it should be". And then I lost it. I followed with, "Yes you would have had fun here because we did xyz family activity while you were gone and D5 learned to ride a bike, etc". then I questioned if his new "friends" knew that he has children that he abanoded for the weekend and if they would respect him if they knew, to which he had no response. I told him he was being incredibly selfish and then he said that I am selfish as well. I knew where this was headed, (I am selfish because I won't agree to D), so I exited the conversation and spent the remainder of the evening in my room.

So, he didn't get the happy re-entrance that I promised I would give. I messed up yet again. I was just so angry yesterday. On top of that, I am having a few really down days, despite the meds. I am feeling hopeless, overwhelmed, confused, anxious, and alone.