Let's just say she has a lot of the signs of MLC, but I can see where I have pushed her away to the point she would hang out with friends to get away from me. Does that make sense?
Yes, it makes sense. The WAW syndrome is very much like MLC.
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One last thing. I really feel like I've had an awakening as far as seeing her side of the spectrum. I see what I've done to harm the marriage. I want to tell her I'm sorry. Not to get her to come home (although that would be nice) but because I seriously feel horrible for how I've made her feel. I want to own up to my mistakes...whether we reconcile or not. When/is there a good time to apologize and is there a good method to do so (letter, email, phone call)?
Have you not already talked with her and told her you were sorry?
If you have not apologized for these things you've mentioned, then my suggestion would be to put it in writing and send by email. That way, you can focus more on the words you want to say, and she will be able to read the email as many times as she wants.
Do not point out how you've changed. But you can tell her that this has opened your eyes to seeing your downfall in the M. Don't point out any of her faults, either.
After you send the email, then don't initiate any more contact. Do not expect her to reply with any more than, maybe, thanks. If she does reply with a thank you or appreciation......leave it alone! Do not send another word related to that apology. You are like some other men here on the board. You can't seem to stick to a few limited words when it comes to your WAW.
After you have apologized once, then don't do it again.
Oh, BTW, you did over-kill on the compliments. There were too many for one occasion and too wordy. Work on it.
What your WAW once craved from you.....can turn her cold now. You don't understand that, I'm sure. The LBH has to use a different way until she is free of the OP and ready to consider committing to the M.
As long as this OW is in the picture, nothing is going to "work" like you think. This OW is toxin waste! She is filling your W's emotional needs. As I've said before, she is building up to a PA, if it's not already. Your W must be very confused about her feelings and her connection with this OW. Two grown women don't lie together or put their head in the lap of the other in the fashion you described. IMO, this is more complicated than if it was another man, instead of the same sex. I'm sure your W thought they were "just friends"....in the beginning.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
