Valeria, I changed my name and stopped posting for a long while as I suspected that my xh had found the site. My old name was quite like my real one. Probably paranoia, but he was batchit crazy for a long time
He is much less mean and crazy these days, and we have been exchanging emails for the past few months. He seems more like himself, and has built a life for himself which I am really pleased about. I think he is unwilling or unable to face some of his actions, as they were so painful and destructive.
I went through a period of wondering if I wanted to be friends with someone who had caused so much hurt [in our case there is nothing more], and decided that actually I did. Like you I have not met anyone who comes close to my h, and would not settle for second best.
I would say my xh is inching out of MLC. Much more interested in others thee days, and was concerned recently that I had cut my finger. Three years ago if I had fallen off a cliff face and broken every bone in my body he would have, maybe, expressed chilly sympathy. To a third party.
Would I want more than friendship if it were offered? Ummm I truly do not know. I do not know what depth of emotional engagement my xh is capable of, and I have come to see that, for me at any rate, being with someone is about emotional intimacy.
It is good to have the choice, and good to have closure, whatever your decide.
Are you enjoying this phase? does it make you feel good, rather than simply vindicated,in spite of the confusion?
It is good to know that some of them do come out of it.
