I had a revelation today. My h didn't leave me because he doesn't love me. He does deep down truly love me - I know that. But he fell in love (well what he thinks) with someone else and had to choose. Why choose his boring old wife who he's been with 14 years? We were in a rut, life was boring - that's life when mum and dad work and you have kids. She was single, albeit with a kid (but one kid, not two), fun, easy, energetic. Don't blame him for choosing her. He hasn't had fun in his life for so long.
This is, I think, what fuels most affairs. I've read a lot of testimony from people who used to be WAS, and they explain that it really didn't matter who the OP was -- OP could have been anybody. The WAS felt like something was missing in their lives, and they chose to pursue what feels like a totally new life in order to fill that void. It's only after they live this life for a while that they usually realize that the grass is not so green, and that they really had things pretty good at home.
They are also quick to learn that no matter which relationship you choose to pursue, each one is going to have its own pros and cons. EVERY relationship is hard work. Who would your H rather work on it with -- someone who clearly cares about him and sounds very put-together, or some skeezy woman who preys on married men? With time, the choice becomes obvious.
Ahhhh. We set up a new agreement re the kids - he has them every second weekend, and takes them out for tea, movies whatever every second Friday night. He's seen them one Friday night - this would be the second Friday night in that agreement. Guess what - he has plans this weekend - he wants them Thursday night. Not only do we normally go out for tea on Thursday night with friends I have told him previously that having them on a school night doesn't work. He doesn't get here till around 6pm and they need to be in bed at 7.30pm. So I replied - Sorry Thursday does not suit us.
H 34, W 36 T 13.5 M 8.5 C 6yo twins S 6/5/11 OW 7/6/11 OW moves in 9/18/11
Not much to say. Had a good nights sleep. Sort of got asked out on a lunch date yesterday. I did tell the guy a week or two ago that I wasn't looking for anything bar friendship at present so he knows that.
H 34, W 36 T 13.5 M 8.5 C 6yo twins S 6/5/11 OW 7/6/11 OW moves in 9/18/11
good call. NO dating right now. You are too vulnerable and I don't want you to get even more hurt!!!!!! (((((HUGS))))))
I know. Just getting out and going to have some fun.
Funny but I read on another forum today (that I've posted on) someone said my story was identical to hers. Her H left her in Oct 2006 - same reasons etc. Lived with Ow for 2 years, they divorced in 2007. A month ago they started dating.
5 bloody years! I ain't waiting that long for him.
H 34, W 36 T 13.5 M 8.5 C 6yo twins S 6/5/11 OW 7/6/11 OW moves in 9/18/11
Another good day. I'm actually starting to think less and less of him during the day. I hope this continues and it's not just a phase.
My kids are being wonderful - they are getting up early (it's spring here in Australia and the sun is rising earlier) and getting breaky for themselves - not once this week have I had to nag at them to get ready for school or we'll be late.
A friend that gave me an Indian Ringneck last year that H has (was a present for him as he'd always wanted a tame one - the bird now says Hello B****). She's pissed he took the bird but she's giving me a new one - can't wait! The kids are excited. Will take my brood of pets up - currently we have 2 dogs, 4 chooks and 4 angel fish.
After I cooked dinner last night my daughter declared me the best cook in the world. My kids are my world - this is what life is about - I don't need my H to fufil me. I can live a very fufiling life without him. Life this week is good!
H 34, W 36 T 13.5 M 8.5 C 6yo twins S 6/5/11 OW 7/6/11 OW moves in 9/18/11
After I cooked dinner last night my daughter declared me the best cook in the world. My kids are my world - this is what life is about - I don't need my H to fufil me. I can live a very fufiling life without him. Life this week is good!
Going out for dinner with friends (actually a school buddy of H and his wife - but H isn't communicating with them at present). He always asks what's new. Tonight will be the first time that I say I don't really want to talk about H anymore.
H 34, W 36 T 13.5 M 8.5 C 6yo twins S 6/5/11 OW 7/6/11 OW moves in 9/18/11
