I've got 54 days to receive a miracle.

[tadpole1025]

Thanks guys. I'm glad to get your input because I thought maybe I was making more of things than I needed to. Hearing you guys and gals tell me that she is nuts actually helps me a little. I know....weird. Snodderly, MHL, Jack and Cadet, are you guys out there? I'd love to hear your thoughts on my post above.

As to the question about whether this was from my memory or transcripts, they are transcripts from the texts. I re-typed them word for word. I know....sad huh?

There are a couple of things you have in there that were DB "mistakes", the one that jumps out is the "I want you in my life" but I don't know that she even really "heard" it so much as she took it and twisted it on you.

Interesting Antonia. She actually acusses me of being the one that twists things.

Honestly. She is masterful. And if this isn't "her" in personality, then you know even more now why you have to get the heck away from her as often as possible.

Do they know they are doing this?

Regardless of how confident she comes off, or how happy, or whatever, she isn't. She's actually fighting you becoming your own person, and that's scary.

Scary to her? She is a very good actress if she really isn't happy.

If you just met her, would you want to be friends with her? I doubt it, unless you're masochistic in a bad way.

No, but I am so damn attracted to her. I wish I could post a picture here. She is absolutely beautiful to me. Although I will admit that she has lost a lot of her looks since this mess began.

The manipulation of that conversation was overt and scary.

It is sad to me that I couldn't even see the manipulation. Haha. I just thought that she was being a b!tch. I still wonder if she knew that she was doing the manipulating....

What she is doing is pushing you away AND holding on to you. In her twisted way, it makes sense to her, but it isn't respectful and it isn't a healthy relationship. You pusing her away makes her think because it means she doesn't have the control over you she wants.

This is what I don't understand. Why would she want to even hold onto me if she said that she is so done with me? And....why does she want to be friends?

Right now, her plans are not working as she envisioned them.

Well, I know things are not even close to what she had planned, but she still seems happy to me.

She is working on things, I can see that.

Really? If she is, she has a long way to go.....

If this is a verbatim quoting of the texts, she's...um, very difficult now.

Yeah, unfortunately, it was WORD FOR WORD. Wish I was kidding.

If I got a wacky text about a gf from 6th grade, I'd have probably said "That's so far in the past I can't even go there b/c I'm living in the present now. Gotta go, have a great weekend" and turn the phone off.

I know. This was probably the most unbelievable part of the whole conversation. I was a boy for crying out loud. 6th f***ing grade. I still don't believe she brought it up.

The fact that she notices who friends you is amazingly UNDetached of her.

I agree. She's obviously not as "done" as she says she is.

Today was a decent day. I now realize even more how crazy she really is and how I need to distance myself even more. I'm going to pull back.

The passing of our anniversary was tough, but I feel like I may have turned a corner since then. It is a small corner, but a corner is still a corner right?

I still do have a hard time "not believing" things she says. Like, when she says that she is done. I want to tell myself that it is the fog talking, but then I wonder if I am just in denial...

Thanks for everything.

Tad