Everwhere is walking distance if you have the time

[ClingingToHope]

Yes. KML. I thought that was interesting. We've exchanged a couple more emails. She knows several of my friends.

I guess it's an honor thing or the LBS thing. From the day I left, it seems as if XW considered it over. She was spotted at the county fair getting on a motorcycle with a guy in '09 and she did the Sturgis trip in '10 with her biker buddies.

I was stuck in limbo. Wondering if I should give up or wait for her to change her mind. I never fully committed either way.

I know it hurt like h*ll when I found out about the biker guy -- even if she said he was just a friend and she's on Match now looking for love.

So I don't want to be the biker guy -- the OM in a situation where a husband is hoping it'll all work out, especially if I know him.

I found her on FB and sent her a friend request. Apparently, she saw me a couple of months ago at a bar near my house. She didn't say hi because she didn't think I'd remember her -- she's right there -- and I was in the middle of an intense conversation.

I think I remember the night she's talking about and I remember noticing a pretty blond that night.

I'm just hoping right now she'll accept the friend request and perhaps we can hang out sometime this fall. That's enough for me.

[ClingingToHope]

Weird. Watching Megamind with D12. Computer created heroine is short brown haired beauty and my mind wandered to XW and ...

XW's 40th is in two days. I hope this is the last time I care about her birthday.

[mainemom1]

My exh bday is next month. I don't know whether to do anything at all or not. He never seemed to like anything anyway so probably not.

[mainemom1]

Gabbysmom, actually I was leaning toward nothing anyway. Just sympathizing with CTH about having feelings about his XW bday. What he got me last year for my Bday was so generic I don't even want to get him anything and he got me nothing for Christmas. But then got something for me from my youngest for Mother's Day. I can't remember for sure what I got him for Father's Day, I think it was a card from youngest and she made a t-shirt at Girl Scouts so I think that was it.

[ClingingToHope]

The birthday thing is going to zoom by and I'll be OK.

I remember I had a surprise party for XW's 30th. She was mad about something, I forget what, and marched downstairs. I was carrying D12 who was 2.... Wow.

Anyway, she opened the door and her friends said surprise and someone snapped a picture and ... she was mad.

A minute later they took another picture of her smiling.

This weekend was the tough part. I still have not completely gotten over wondering what XW might be doing. I wondered if she was out celebrating. I know I shouldn't care, but I still do.

Her actual birthday? I avoided the school meeting. I'll just get the girls after school, head back to work at 5 p.m. and miss XW and then I have my divorce recovery group and then interview No. 2 with the developer paying me to basically record his autobiography.

It's a full, full day.

[mainemom1]

That's good to hear. Basically my day went to hell. It started okay. Took my grandma shopping at Wally World. Then my oldest got home. I was expecting her to do her chores but she was a little snotty about it so I started getting on her case. It was a nasty argument 99.9% my fault. Anyway, dragged her father into it. That didn't go well either. Followed by pursuing behavior as in wouldn't it be better for the girls if we worked things out and got back together. I know better but sometimes my brains check out and I do stupid stuff. I hate weekends right now. Can't wait to move. He had left but when he got back I threw it in his face that he was hurting the girls and me by living so close. They are hurting because I'm on pins and needles all the time. His response is than maybe I should give them to him. As if!

[mainemom1]

The less time I'm around him for awhile the better it will be.

[mishka422]

OUCH! Not good, not good at all. My xh tried that one once when I had a meltdown over not being able to handle something our son was doing. His 'fix it' mentality was - just give him to me, I'll deal with him so you don't have to. That's a man reaction. Don't take it personally.

[ClingingToHope]

From the man's perspective, it isn't fair if you vent when you are having difficulty handling them when you wanted the physical custody.

Maybe a couple of years from now when everything is settled, but not early in the process.

I would have said the same thing.

[mainemom1]

Thanks mish and CTH for the response. Sorry I hijacked your thread by the way.