Treading water - time and patience

[NYCPeter]

Thanks for the replies.

Yes my W is no where near ready to make a commitment to the M.
Yes you are right - the expectations. Need to stop having them - very tough to do.

I do think space and clearing my head is important, but with a special needs child - my W would struggle long term without me around (friends and family would help initially, but they have their own lives to lead), so I couldn't move out for more than a week or two without having some permenant plan in place.

W came home today and gave me a hug - why? Ok - no mind reading, just enjoy the moment. It made me forget about wanting to move out for a while.

Rollercoaster, mood swings, ups and downs, I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy.