As far as separation goes, if he pushes for it, I will NOT resist. I've made this clear to him. When pulled this drama, 11 years ago, he was out by my doing on the third bomb. I was pretty done at that point and did not fear separation at all. (I was a bit dramatic about it though and packed up all his clothing while he was at work).
However, admittedly I'm hesitant to push for it this time around. I'm not worried about me -- I've seen an L and I will be just fine financially. Emotionally, that might take more time but I will get there. It's D16 that concerns me. She recently overcame an eating disorder and was in therapy to deal with that, as well as the death of her Grandmother. She also struggles with depression (again this all happened after the death of my MIL). D16 while very bright (honor role, gifted program), is a very sensitive kid and spends far too much time with me (instead of her friends) which worries me. I'm afraid another significant loss in her life will push her over the edge. I can honestly say that if it wasn't for our kids, H would be out by now. I might even be DONE.
As for living with this drama, it's been almost 5 months. Yes, he did it 11 years ago (and while we were dating) but he was in his teens and late 20's so I think I chalked it up to youth and immaturity. However, they were no bombs for almost 9 years of marriage.
Things started to fall apart for us after his mother died. (I think that was probably the trigger). Yes, I had issues with him but I didn't seriously consider leaving until he started drinking too much and acting "angry" all the time. I never connected it to the death of him mother until recently because he never expressed any grief. I did think that was strange that he seemed to just "get over it", considering he was very close to her. Actually, I think that's part of the problem. Their relationship was unhealthy.
