but I do struggle with why two people why so obviously care about each other and their children can not work things out between them.
I have pondered this for a long time. I think my H thinks he wants to be friends, thinks he's doing what's best for D's and since they are 19 and 16 feels like it's "his turn". To be happy and do whatever strikes his fancy.
Like your H, he clearly cares for his kids and wants to be part of their accomplishments. Like you, I can be kind. In truth, I do know why we could not work things out between us and sadly it is not in my power to do anything about it. In some respects he may never see the damage. I know he is not capable of seeing the changes.
I do wish him peace and I want to want to wiah him happiness. Mostly, I am grateful in a strange and twisted way. All of this has allowed a depth of intimacy with my D's (brought on by some pretty ugly circumstances) that I know I would not have otherwise.
I still miss what we had and while I don't really understand all the why's, I don't feel the need to anymore.
