If you decide to go the counseling route at this time, please make sure the MC is marriage friendly. There are stories on this board where the wrong counselor can do more harm than good.
Snodderly has given you wise advice. MLCer's are notorious for 'trying' counseling and then saying, well, I've done all I can and it's still not working.
As Snodderly told you, don't bring up MLC to him. MLCer's believe that they're OK and that nothing is wrong with them.
This site, and the DR book and any other book you decide to read are for you. The reasoning behind not letting him see them is so he doesn't think your changes are tactics to get him back. He won't think they're real at first anyway, and the only thing you can do is show him with consistency.
Stop snooping, it only hurts you. MLCer's lie and him knowing you are snooping will only drive him to hide things deeper.
Ct, I know you are taking this personally, but please try and put a stop to that. As hard as it is to believe this is not about you. Your H is unhappy and most likely depressed. He is running, even though he hasn't left yet (he may not) looking for something to fix himself. He hasn't figured out, and most likely won't for some time, that external fixes such as ow, drinking, or any number of other things won't lead to the happiness he's looking for. They may give that illusion for a while but eventually it will crash down around him.
He must face those issues on the inside that he has stuffed and never dealt with. You can't help him by telling him about it. He must come to terms with that on his own. It's what his journey is about.
You have your own journey to walk. As Snodderly said, come here to vent, talk, ask questions. We're here walking along with you.
