She claims that because of the way things are and have been, she MUST do this on her own to prove to herself that she is capable. We have been much more friendly as of the past few days, but she still does not see me "that way" But that comfort-ability is hard to be specific on because she gives TONS of mixed signals.
I must move to NY because I have no place to live (sleep) without being with her, she believes that she needs the time and space to be without me to make an 'ultimate' decision. I have very high hopes that we will be OK, I am just not sure how to 'prove my love and worth as a husband' from afar.
Moving is not an option with her decision, I have no other means at this time. We are talking and doing much better . . . as friends, but it is still far from her being able to say, "I think this can work". But again. Mixed signals. She agrees in the understanding that I need to move.
As far as the OM, she planned on Monday to break it off totally with him, but then decided why not remain friends. I explained to her that he was a rebound and she agreed, and also there would be no 'return' of feelings to me (if any) as long as that friendship continued. I know and believe that I trust as she said, there are no plans with him More than friends. I do believe and trust her near 100%. Again the mixed signals of how much she cares, if and how much she may love me, and what is exactly in her brain remains a mystery.
She needs to prove herself to herself, and i believe she wants to see how well I will 'succeed' on my own, and what I will be doing in that meantime. At first my thoughts about going back to NY was absolute fail and call for D. But since I have NO alternative save someone giving me about 3 grand, then it is a must and she understands.
She said one thing yesterday that gave me a bit more hope..."maybe this can become a new beginning."
She is a wonderful woman, and I believe my 'groveling' without the patheticness has allowed her to open up to me a bit. Since the "emotional' bond with the other man is not as apparent, although still there as we both agreed, she is unable to open up any more until it has ended Completely.
I just need the best advice I can get to be worthy as her spouse and prove love and attempt to light her flame - to some extent - from afar.
