Trusting, It sounds like he wants to convince you that he is trying to be a good parent and supportive of the children. He's still on the emotional rollercoaster and it's going to take a while for his emotional state to settle down. He is still in the "mommy, don't talk to me about money or suggest what I need to do" phase. However, I'm glad he's come through for the children.
As for the ow, as long as she is in the picture, he's going to have some flare ups w/you. I'm sure she's giving him the blues about you and the family and spending money on them. Four years is a long time to live together and she's most likely chomping at the bit for the marriage to take place.
You've done an excellent job of stepping back and allowng him to flounder. It takes a very long time for them to actually leave mlc and begin to settle down. Your xh is inching his way back to the real world, but he's got a long way to get to the other side. You've left the door open for him to find a way to enter. Let's hope he figures things out before it's too late.
Take care of yourself.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
