Ok you've talked me out of it - I wasn't initially going to reply, then thought maybe I should. But obviously I'm becoming a pro DBer now and my initial thought was right.
H 34, W 36 T 13.5 M 8.5 C 6yo twins S 6/5/11 OW 7/6/11 OW moves in 9/18/11
Julz - I'm wondering if you've thought about going "dim"?
It's really saved me, emotionally, and allowed me to detach. Not that I don't have bad moments/hours/days, but I feel so much better now.
I think I am pretty much as dim as I can be. I don't contact him at all. He will email me to ask about pick up times for the kids, and that's it. Then when he picks them up it's usually brief and quick. Other then the time last fortnight when he hooked up the tv for me, and when he was packing his stuff and I was friendly to him.
H 34, W 36 T 13.5 M 8.5 C 6yo twins S 6/5/11 OW 7/6/11 OW moves in 9/18/11
[quote=Julz] I even had a dream last night I met some random guy and we hooked up.
Ruh Ro! [/quote
Val is such a great cheerleader. It feels good to think that if our W/H leave us that there maybe someone out there that may like us and even love us LBS. Keep those dream going I wish I had them but that entails sleeping and some REM which I have not had in 3 months. Hnag in there
M 53 D 20 Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24 Together 26 yrs Married 16 W Filed for D 7/21/11 Served 9/6/11 D final 8/28/12
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”
I SO(!!!) understand the pain & shock of the SPEED at which your H has moved on with the OW. Mine announced two months to the date after saying he didn't love me anymore that he and the OW were moving in together. He then proceeded to buy a house worth 4x as much as ours for her to live in ... he bought it with all of the money we had worked so hard to save.
He was like yours: a decent and honorable man until the day he decided he wanted out...then he changed completely. He went from warm and loving to cold and bitter.
You are doing so much better than me. You sound really 'okay'. I'm still in shock/disbelief and its been almost 6 months!
Like you, I just want to be loved too...but not ready to date. I'm like you: can't go back, can't move forward...I'm just stuck.
Me: 35 Him: 43 Together: 19 1/2 years 1st Bomb (IDLYAM): March 2011 2nd Bomb (OW): April 2011 He abandons home/bills/everything: May 2011 He's bought a new house for OW: September 2011
I had a revelation today. My h didn't leave me because he doesn't love me. He does deep down truly love me - I know that. But he fell in love (well what he thinks) with someone else and had to choose. Why choose his boring old wife who he's been with 14 years? We were in a rut, life was boring - that's life when mum and dad work and you have kids. She was single, albeit with a kid (but one kid, not two), fun, easy, energetic. Don't blame him for choosing her. He hasn't had fun in his life for so long.
I'm one hell of a catch for someone but - single mum, successful business owner, homeowner etc - actually I worried that men will find me too independent!
H 34, W 36 T 13.5 M 8.5 C 6yo twins S 6/5/11 OW 7/6/11 OW moves in 9/18/11
Thanks for your note this morning Julz....feeling a bit better. But also facing up to the reality that I will never be with my W again and there isn't much I can do about it. She is on her path and that's the only way for her - no deviation or changing - too much has happened between us now. And yes you are one hell of a catch!
M 35 W 31 Separated 2/2011 but still together Ended it 4/2011 Together 8 yrs Married 3.5 yrs Lawyers involved 6/2011
